Scanned

I now have CT scans about every six months to see if there are any signs of the cancer returning. These are at The Royal Marsden Hospital and I do my usual walk from the tube station listening… Read More

Hospital Again And Again

Appointments at The Royal Marsden Hospital alternate between Dr Gavaghan and Mr Harker, and extend from a monthly basis to every six weeks, then to two months and eventually four-month intervals. I go to each appointment with an… Read More

Back To Work

I have to at least try the proposed quick return to work. Michelle, Lucy and Jack rely on me financially. I do not feel ready for this. Physically, I may look like anyone else but, mentally, I am… Read More

Result Time

The big day arrives. I have a Wednesday appointment at 3:30 p.m. with Mr Harker to hear his post-operative opinion about the cancer. If the radiotherapy has worked, the cancer will be gone; if it has not worked,… Read More

Attempting Normality

I hear a familiar voice through the haze. It’s Michelle and she has a hand on my shoulder and says it’s time to get ready to go to The Royal Marsden Hospital. My latest appointment is the monthly… Read More

Hard Times

The procedure each time I went for a radiotherapy session involved collecting my file before going to the waiting area. I sat down with the others and a silent resignation to our fate. Flicking through my notes, I… Read More

Two Belly Buttons

  Remembering my studies and legal training helps instil a single-mindedness, but I have to turn my attention to the present. I’m surprised I haven’t received any counselling to help me through cancer. I was told I would… Read More

The Last One

I arrive for the last radiotherapy session, number thirty. Only ten minutes earlier, I was leaning against a wall and throwing up. With watery eyes, I wiped my face and made my way into hospital. After a fifteen… Read More

Torture

I go into the final sessions of radiotherapy and am so unwell. Through the waves of tiredness, I stop at my favourite doorway to retch and vomit before making it into hospital and telling the radiotherapy operators I’m… Read More

This Is My Low

I get up feeling drained and go to the bathroom for my usual morning routine, which involves flushing my PEG (the tube inserted into my stomach in case I need to be fed that way) through with water… Read More