Starting Out

And so, together, they became the Gronk-LaTwonks. In their minds, it was a wonderfully well-to-do last name for when they had children! They looked at one another with glowing satisfaction. This would be the beginning of something fantastic. Gronk was still desperate to become a Poshey, while Munter was doing her best to be accepted as a Gossip. They were going to rise the ranks of the Snook. Influence and respect would be theirs at last. They would be THE people to look up to. 

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Over the next few months, Gronk and Munterla met up often and soon became inseparable. Before the year was out, Gronk proposed and they were soon married. After a rainy honeymoon in a dreary English seaside town, the couple moved in together. They could just afford to rent a flat above a shop on the High Street. It was a central location in the Snook and close to the bars and restaurants. On the first night in their new home, they discussed a new surname, now they were man and wife.

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The Office

A few days later, Gronk received the tremendous news he had landed the job. One application, one interview and one job offer. He was back on track and moving toward an inevitable magnificent future. The salary was lower than he expected, but he thought even great men had to begin somewhere. On his first day, he turned up to the office and met the others. They all seemed a bit dull to Gronk, although he knew Groate well and waved at his old friend. But the office day-to-day was a shock. The routine was always the same. He spent most of his time on the computer completing spreadsheets, which he found ridiculous as he assumed he would actually be using a pencil. He was a Trainee Pencil Pusher after all. Sometimes he was allowed out to inspect the local land his firm had purchased. He liked these trips with a clipboard and actual pencil, but always ended up back in the office writing reports and completing charts. It was a mundane existence where the days seemed to merge together. The tedious office was a disappointment from his heady days at Sixth Form College. But this was adult life now so he would just have to get on with it.

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Gronk turned up for the interview early and stood in the waiting room. The receptionist nodded for him to take a seat and he gave his best ’wet-my-pants’ smile in return. He wore a cheap black suit, pink shirt and thin black tie. He looked at an oobaTWAT™ suit, but it was far too expensive. He knew Groate already worked at this company and he was inept at almost everything. Gronk felt the job was his for sure. He was ushered into a small room by a weaselly-looking man. The window had a commanding view right down the Snook High Street. One day, Gronk thought. One day this will be my office.

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Job Hunt

Without the grades for University, Gronk needed a job. He thought about possible careers and researched on the internet. Politician sounded a good one and there were many Posheys of an oily character in government. The civil service also looked interesting as there were lots of stuck-up types in there and everyone knew it was a job for life, no matter how incompetent they were. Or he could be a taxman. The idea of stealing other people’s money also appealed to him. Another was lawyer. He could see himself holding court while everyone listened to his incredible eloquence. But a career as an art director would enable him to delve into his creative side. As would fashion. He already wore an oobaTWAT™ coat and was sure he could easily create his own world famous fashion label, no problem at all. He also liked the idea of being a dictator, but those jobs did not seem to be available any more so maybe he should join the military as a high-ranking officer.

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Gronk needed time to recover from the set-back of his exam results. Privately he admitted no effort at all was put into revision, but exams were meant to be easy for a superlative man of his calibre. Gronk knew his gifts were at least genius level. His dichotomy was a certain low-life emerged with exam success. He mulled over how Steve Nobody managed to pass anything, let alone get the grades to go to University. It was inconceivable to him that such a talentless turd could outperform him. It must be just a blip. Gronk thought about the accent he cultivated and his Poshey contacts. He liked art, classical music, French and looking down on people. Surely that was enough to pass a few stupid exams, he thought. 

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Steve looked around the foyer for the rest of his mates and saw Gronk crumpling a piece of paper. His cheeks were reddened. Gronk looked down on Steve, but he was not so sure of himself now. Maybe, just maybe, he was not as good as he thought. Gronk saw Steve Nobody looking over. He eyed his enemy with scorn. Students hung around for a while swapping exam results. Groups posed for photos and the inevitable selfies clicked away. It all soon spilled outside as they went off to celebrate and commiserate.

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The line of students shuffled toward their fate. It had taken about fifteen minutes, but Gronk was almost at the front. He felt no nerves whatsoever. Unruffled at first by fact he had to stand in line with common students, his impatience grew. He became desperate for the inevitable good news contained in his envelope. He dreamed of sitting in Poshey tutor groups and impressing everyone with his accent and intellectualism. Gronk felt he was made for the hallowed University quads and looked forward to wearing a gown around Snookford. This would be the beginning of his marvellous future. Gronk was ready to enter true socio-economic exclusivity. But here he was, staring at the back of an Outsider’s head. This low-life dared to stand in his way. When the boy was about to receive his results envelope, Gronk pushed him out of the way.

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Results Day

At last, the big day arrived. Steve met up with a group of friends and they walked to College. The conversation jogged along for most of the journey until they went up the road leading to the College. Nerves kicked in and talk faded. The day was important to them all. It would decide their immediate futures. Through double doors and the foyer buzzed with activity. Some students queued for their results, others were all smiles. A few stared in disbelief at results with tears in their eyes.

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