On the educational front, english, maths and science were taught, but they were periphery on the curriculum. The school’s raison d’être coincided with Miss Whippet’s agenda, which was imparting the fundamentals of Snobbier-Than-Thou to Bosworth House. This superior role was entrusted to the self-confessed hugely talented Mrs DeVilliers, who was supremely qualified for the task. She was the wife of Gerard DeVilliers, or Fathead as he liked to be called. Mrs DeVilliers regarded herself as the finest dressed, most pre-eminently intelligent lady in the Snook. She was of the view everyone should at least try to emulate her impressiveness. The Snobbier-Than-Thou curriculum was how she lived every moment, so she was well placed to impart this way of life.

Less valuable than fluency in Snobbier-Than-Thou, but significant in terms of culture were music and singing. This was Mr Hoot’s domain. He appeared quite short, although was taller than first impressions. It was an optical illusion caused by his unfeasibly large forehead, upon which perched a pair of stretchy eyebrows. So elastic were those eyebrows that Mr Hoot could conduct a whole orchestra just by facial movements. He considered himself highbrow in the extreme and favoured refined instruments like the oboe and bassoon. But was also keen to develop the school choir.

Copyright © 2023 Callum Stanford.  All rights reserved.

Author: C.Stanford

Writer, blogger, outsider, survivor.

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