Pip Pip

The waiter bought their food and drink over, and they nibbled, inhaled, gorged and slurped. There were more hysterical noises at the combined hilarity of the waiter’s rudeness and the Outsider looking unhappily at his food. Harvey clicked his fingers for the bill. The waiter appeared, immune to their behaviour. Harvey flipped through his wad of cash and slapped an eye-watering amount on the table, leaving an extra couple of fifty-pound notes tip for the waiter. No eye contact was necessary.

“Keep the change poor person, errr, umm, tut, we like to help the scuddy masses sometimes you know,” Clarissa stammered, raising her nose appropriately.

“Tickety-boo, well said,” Hugo agreed.

The Outsider sat at a table near the door, minding his own business and picked at the poached quails eggs. The Posheys pranced toward the door with straight backs and noses up. Lottie barged her oversized bag into him.

“Crikey, begone you nitwit or I shall give you a bunch of fives. I was Fisticuffs Captain at the University of Snookford, don’t you know!” Hugo yelled, brandishing his fists in a circular motion.

Surprise swept across the Outsider’s face as the Posheys flounced into the High Street.  They chatted about the excellent luncheon and laughed about the Outsider. He was out of his depth in so many ways. They laughed some more. Eventually, the frivolities subsided and it was time to go their separate ways. Harvey and Hugo offered a few “Pip pips,” and Lottie and Clarissa administered some double-cheeked kisses.

Copyright © 2023 Callum Stanford.  All rights reserved.

Author: C.Stanford

Writer, blogger, outsider, survivor.

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