Loud guffawing attracted the attention of a lady in the corner. It was Miss Whippet, the headteacher of Snookington School. She broke off from reading a book and looked over the frame of her glasses. Straight-faced, she mentally congratulated herself on a job well done. As former members of Snookington School, these Posheys were practising the art of Snobbier-Than-Thou perfectly. She was alone and continued a discrete watch. Miss Whippet was always watching.

The waiter approached Harvey and crew with disgust. A quiet descended. They looked up with expectation spread across their faces. This would be the highlight of the experience. It was why they were happy to pay so much. The waiter was tall and wore a dinner suit. A thin moustache hovered above his sneer. A long silence added to the anticipation.

“You…” he said, pointing at Clarissa, “will have a miso biscuit.” The waiter leaned into Harvey and looked him up and down. “And you, the one who laughs like a fool.” Harvey  smirked. “You can have a cinnamon and walnut coffee.” Turning to Lottie, he sniffed. “A fancy cupcake for you. No, let’s make that two.” He stared at Hugo. “Good grief, you look exceptionally stupid. It has to be a cup of floral oolong tea for you. Good job you don’t have to spell it.” The waiter turned and strutted away. The Posheys burst out laughing.

“That was marvellous. It’s almost as if he’s one of us!!” Hugo chuckled.

“Yes, yes, very good. But what about that grimy little oik Outsider. I’m sure he attended Snookington School,” Harvey scoffed. “But he didn’t belong, obviously.”

“And, umm, this is awfully funny, did you hear that hoi polloi’s accent when he, err, ordered the ever so common food?” Clarissa snorted.

“EERRRRGGHH,” Lottie uttered, loud and deep.

“Golly and have you seen what the dim-witted Outsider is wearing?” Hugo chortled.

“Uh, err, this is just super!” Clarissa faltered.

Copyright © 2023 Callum Stanford.  All rights reserved.

Author: C.Stanford

Writer, blogger, outsider, survivor.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: