Restaurant Experience

One morning, some Posheys were taking breakfast in Gnoshers. It was their favourite restaurant on the High Street on account of it being hugely over-priced. There was a unique concept on offer called ‘one for the price of two,’ which involved no menu so the waiting staff could serve whatever they deemed fit. If customers did not like what was on offer, even better. Anyone with the temerity to order would, at best, be ignored. At the end of the experience, the customer had to pay an extortionate price. It was designed to exclude Outsiders and Gossips to facilitate a Poshey-only eatery.

The policy helped to attract the gentry with a refined taste and too much money, while it ordinarily repelled the unwanted and unworthy. Harvey and Clarissa considered themselves at the very least aristocratic, whilst Hugo and Lottie came from established wealthy families. Reclining in the luxurious surroundings, they were astonished to see an Outsider wander in. What’s more, a waiter even showed him to a table.

“This’ll be worth watching,” Hugo chortled.

The Outsider looked for any indication of the food on offer. There was nothing. He tried to see what other people were eating. As if to deflect his thought process, a waiter rushed over to serve. On hearing an order, the waiter smirked with a loud “I don’t think so!!” Stifled laughter came from the Posheys.

“Listen in chaps, did you hear what that unwashed pleb tried to order?” Harvey sniffed.

“Oh do tell,” Lottie bayed. She paused to shift her bulk and let out a guttural laugh. “ERRGGHH.”

“It was… wait for it… fried eggs,” Harvey guffawed and swept his head from side to side with widened eyes.

“Umm, err, the only eggs at this establishment are, urr, poached quail eggs,” Clarissa stuttered.

“Yeah, no, I agree, but, ERGHHHHH,” Lottie added.

Copyright © 2023 Callum Stanford.  All rights reserved.

Author: C.Stanford

Writer, blogger, outsider, survivor.

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