Job Hunt

Without the grades for University, Gronk needed a job. He thought about possible careers and researched on the internet. Politician sounded a good one and there were many Posheys of an oily character in government. The civil service also looked interesting as there were lots of stuck-up types in there and everyone knew it was a job for life, no matter how incompetent they were. Or he could be a taxman. The idea of stealing other people’s money also appealed to him. Another was lawyer. He could see himself holding court while everyone listened to his incredible eloquence. But a career as an art director would enable him to delve into his creative side. As would fashion. He already wore an oobaTWAT™ coat and was sure he could easily create his own world famous fashion label, no problem at all. He also liked the idea of being a dictator, but those jobs did not seem to be available any more so maybe he should join the military as a high-ranking officer.

Unfortunately, those jobs all seemed to need a degree. And there was no chance of that now, and all because his exams were marked incorrectly. But he knew an ability to look down on others was much more valuable than graduating with a mere piece of paper. Despite this, Gronk considered forging a degree certificate, but could not be bothered with the effort. He would undoubtedly succeed as a government minister or lawyer or army general, if only he was given a chance. Gronk gnarled his teeth at how unfair life was. Maybe he should be more realistic for a first job. He perused the local newspaper job section and saw some really rubbish jobs. There was no way he was going to work as a street cleaner or in a kitchen or, worse still, a shop. He was about to throw the newspaper out of the window when a small advert at the bottom of the page caught his eye.

“Wanted. Trainee Pencil Pusher. Hard worker,

quick learner and preferably a Poshey.

Salary negotiable.”

That was more like it. With a Trainee Pencil Pusher job he would be ready to move on and salvage something from those disastrous exam results. He telephoned the number given and waited for the application form. It arrived in the post the very next day so he filled it out. Gronk decided to be creative in the qualifications section, so he pretended to have passed all his exams with top grades. It was only a white lie because Gronk thought he would have got those grades if his exams were marked competently. Anyway, his splendid interests would be more important to portray the image of a Poshey. He hand delivered the application the same day and was soon called to an interview.

Copyright © 2022 Callum Stanford.  All rights reserved.

Author: callumstanford

Writer, blogger, outsider, survivor.

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