A New Gentleman

Grotter met the posh people and explained he came from less sunny climes, but the Snook had a reputation far and wide for being THE place to live. This seemed to please everyone and they talked and smiled. Grotter was delighted he was fitting in with the wealthy.

“The moniker is deGrott” he said in a faux posh accent and exhibited a flamboyant bow as he waved an arm to one side.

He told stories of his bravery and riches, moving his hands about animatedly. But deGrott’s large hat slid over his eyes many a time and the stitching in a shirt sleeve began to unravel. During one exaggerated story, deGrott waved his arms around like a windmill and the sleeve came clean off. Horrified, he leant over to pick it up and his hat fell to the ground. It was only then he was recognised.

“Look, it’s Grotter!!” A peasant shouted.

The rich men looked confused. A gossiping type leant in and explained Grotter was in fact a peasant who worked in the mines.

“Good lord, this imbecile is trying to curry favour with us!” A gentleman exclaimed.

“Or is he trying to make a mockery of us?” Another asked.

“No, no, no.. I wish to join your ranks,” Grotter explained.

A young nobleman leant in. “You are a member of the lowest order. And you attempted to hoodwink us!!”

Grotter tried to explain he was just as impressive as the posh people in the Snook and he really ought to be let into their select band. But he was shouted down. Grotter caused quite a stir and looked more foolish than any peasant had ever done before. The ridicule heightened as shouts of “Peasant” and “Oaf” rose above the commotion. It turned ugly. Grotter was pelted with vegetables and over-ripe fruit. He huddled against the barrage and a carrot bounced off his head. The usually refrained people guffawed at Grotter. Humiliated, he scuttled away with his wife and son in tow.

In the days to come, the incident lived on in hushed whispers. It was seen as a snub to snobbery for Grotter to even attempt to weasel his way into the upper echelons of local society. This man clearly failed to come even close to cutting it. The effrontery of a peasant who wanted to be posh was to be marked in a special way. Gossips huddled around the High Street to regurgitate every detail. It was decided Grotter needed another name as a permanent reminder of the time a Gronk wanted to become a gentlemen. Forever after, he would be known as Grotter Gronk. The word Gronk eventually fell into disuse as an insult, but it lived on as a name for Grotter’s family line.

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