Stalked By A Nightmare
I stand in the cold air with night all around. To one side, shards of light pierce the blackness. Something moves in the distance. Almost imperceptible. There it is again. A dark shape, much bigger than me. It draws nearer in the silence. I back away and it bolts in my direction. My heart leaps. A hundred metres away, then seventy-five. I turn to run.
Frenetic at first, I settle into a steady pace. I look behind. It’s closing, so I open my stride. Time seems to disappear. Sweat flows from my forehead. My shirt is soaked. Whatever it is just keeps coming. Adrenaline kicks in. Faster. Straining. I’m sprinting, but still the gap narrows. Head back, looking down, my arms pump like pistons. Mouth open, gasping for breath, my face contorts into a wince. Lungs are bursting and legs burn. I’m light-headed.
There seems an inevitability to all this. I make a conscious effort to slow my breathing down. Coming to a halt, I turn around. A calmness takes over as the shadow rushes in. I raise my fists. At the point of impact, I throw a punch and darkness engulfs me.
I wanted to write about my life, but something hadn’t hit me yet. When it did, the ferocity was intense. It took some time before I could begin typing. The working title was ‘Resilience,’ but who would want to read about me? I’m nobody. Original materials and recollections have been used in this blog. Whilst there will always be different perspectives, I’ve tried to say how it happened. This may well leave me open to criticism as to what I’ve done or not done, but there you go.
I’ve been an outsider for much of my life. In a rugged environment, I was less rough than the others yet, in privileged surroundings, I didn’t fit in. I’ve spent too long doing some things and not nearly enough time on others. The route I’ve taken has not always been the right one. But I’m also relentless. Everyone has a story and this is mine.